Sometimes, you just need a good cry…

lemonsIt was bound to happen…it just took a year.  Greg and I finally coordinated our emotional roller coasters to have ourselves a good’ ole cry tonight.  Now, it wasn’t waterworks, by any means.  It was more of a collision of emotions occurring whilst sitting down to dinner after a long weekend.  Either way, we needed it.

I’ve said many times before that  few tears have been shed since Isabella’s diagnosis. I would say that I had expected today to be filled with anxiety and apprehension…today was Pump Day, after all.  We knew Isabella would be a rockstar when it came to the actual pump hook up…and we were right.  No tears. No screams.  Just a simple “Where’s my cookie?” (Yes, I bribed her to sit still for the pump insertion.  Don’t judge me.)

However, 8 hours later we sat at our kitchen table, kids miraculously asleep, tears welling up in our eyes…in silence.  We were coming to the end of a day that felt much like a chart of Isabella’s blood sugar: a mix of high and lows.

My excitement about Pump Day quickly faded this morning as we listened intently to the trainer explain features of the device.

“You should keep the sound turned ‘On’ for now so you’ll hear if there is an error in the pump or a reminder…but when she’s a teenager she’ll probably want it set to ‘vibrate’.”

A teenager?  She’s not even 3!  This simple sentence painted a very real picture for us: Isabella will almost certainly STILL be managing her T1D in 10 years when she becomes a teenager.  For those of you reading this who haven’t been personally affected by this disease, let me share with you the thing we ALL hear shortly after diagnosis: “A CURE will most likely be found within the next 10 years.”  Sound familiar to anyone out there in T1D land? I am positive that I echoed this very phrase to multiple family members and friends just one year ago.  As much as I would love to believe this, my gut tells me we still have quite a bit of progress to make.

Greg and I also spent some time tonight talking about people’s reaction to seeing Isabella’s OmniPod pump. I wish every one of you could have seen her excitement when we arrived home and she jumped out of the car and ran over to Max to say “Look at my pump.  My insulin is in there…and it’s mine, not yours.” It also took all of 5 seconds for her to adorn the pod with Disney stickers featuring Jasmine and Ariel:)

We really hope that people ask, in curious and non-judgmental ways, what this thing is that is attached to her teeny arm.  We want her to wear it with pride and never be embarrassed by it.  I truly hope she always wants to bling it out and play “Pimp My Pump” forever (curse you, Xzibit, and your flashy grills), and that she has the power to take someone’s lack of knowledge about type 1 diabetes and turn it into a teachable moment (my college professors are beaming right now).

In the meantime, we’ll continue our work towards a cure.  After all, we still have 9 years to go 🙂

Cheers to Changing the World,
Kristina

PS-Thank you to all who have contributed to our JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes Team this year!  We have met 66% of our goal and would love to have support from many others.  If you’d like to donate to our team, please click here.