Offending ‘Miss Manners’

 

BGCheck

Earlier this week advice columnist Judith Martin, whose Miss Manners column is carried by more than 200 newspapers worldwide, responded to a reader’s question regarding whether or not those with diabetes should check their blood sugar in public settings.  Her response was a column entitled “Do Diabetic Testing in Private” and included the following paragraph:

Absent an emergency, medical applications (like bodily functions and grooming) are properly done out of sight — meaning in private or in a restroom — unless they can be done so surreptitiously as to be unrecognizable as such.

As a father of a child with type 1 diabetes, I felt I needed to respond to her and, after writing, decided my message should be shared publicly with all of you.

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Dear Miss Manners,

I read your recent response to the gentleman inquiring about testing his blood in public. While you are certainly entitled to your opinions, your response shows  ignorance and lack of education about type one diabetes (T1D), as well as a lack of compassion for those living with T1D and their caretakers. As a father of a three and a half year old with T1D, I must say that I was completely appalled by your response.

My daughter, Isabella, was diagnosed with T1D in August 2012, just two weeks before her second birthday. She spent four long days in the hospital after her diagnosis while the doctors pumped her tiny body full of insulin. During that time the doctors and nurses educated us about type one diabetes, an autoimmune disease that we knew nothing about until that moment. We learned that had we not caught some of the symptoms early on, our daughter may have slipped into a coma or worse in a matter or days. We learned that our daughter’s life would never be the same. We also learned that we would have to check her blood glucose levels at least 8-10 times per day, count every carb that she consumes and give her insulin injections at least four times per day.

 This became Isabella’s new “normal” life. What we know, and you likely do not, is that failure to closely monitor her glucose, properly count carbs or administer precise amounts of insulin could ultimately lead to our daughter’s death. Therefore, I view every single moment of every single day (awake and asleep) as an emergency. Our daughter’s life literally depends on frequent blood checks and insulin. We have always checked Isabella’s blood in public and administered insulin injections in public, as well. We have always taught Isabella that T1D is a part of her life and she should never be ashamed or embarrassed about it, nor ever let it define her. And, even at three and a half years old, she has embraced her diabetes, checks her own blood sugar and loves talking about her diabetes with anyone that will listen. We would never suggest that she stop doing any of those things because there is a chance that it might make others uncomfortable.

Isabella now wears an insulin pump that is physically attached to her body at all times. We are often asked about the device, which gives us an opportunity to educate others and raise awareness at the same time. I would never even think about covering it up simply so that no one else can see it (so they don’t become uncomfortable about my daughter’s diabetes, I suppose, according to your logic).

The reality is that Isabella is different than other kids, including her triplet brother and sister….however, we would never make her feel different and ashamed by hurrying her off to the restroom every time we have to check her blood sugar when we’re out in public. We believe it is extremely important that she is completely comfortable talking about her diabetes and the effects it has on her life, physically and emotionally, now at only three and a half years old and as she gets older.

We want Isabella to share her story with the world. As her parents, that’s exactly what we have been doing for the past year and a half and will continue to do so until a cure is found for our daughter and millions of others living with this terrible disease. I can assure you that observing a simple finger prick is nowhere near as uncomfortable as what my daughter and millions of others go through every day of their lives.

Your column only motivates us even more and reminds us that we still have a lot of work to do to educate others and raise awareness.

-Greg Dooley

www.InspiredbyIsabella.com

Why We All Need A Patty

Isa and Addison

Most people would look at this photo and see two little girls, happy and smiling…without a care in the world. What you’re really looking at are two AMAZING 3-year-olds fighting the challenges thrown at them by type 1 diabetes.

We had an awesome day with little Addison and her family today where we enjoyed pizza,  pump site changes (one planned and one not!), high (400) & low (48) blood sugars, and the beginning of an adorable friendship between two toddlers who’ve found a friend that “has didabeeeteees too!”

Watching Addison ask Isa if she wanted stickers to decorate her new insulin pod and holding her hand during her site change…and seeing Addison timidly show Isa her continuous glucose monitor adorning her little belly…it made me realize just how much it matters to have someone by your side who’s fighting the same battle as you. And I’m not just talking about the girls.

When Isabella was diagnosed we were in the hospital for less than 24 hours when we had a knock on our hospital room door.  In walked a woman that, though I didn’t realize it at the time, would set the scene for how I would be as a mother of a child with T1D.

Over the next hour this woman, Patty, told us about her life as a mom and wife to children AND a husband with Type 1.  She gave us a book of information about diabetes care she had photocopied from when one of her children was first diagnosed. She told us about diabetes camps and the difference they had made in her children’s lives.  She smiled. She laughed.  And her hair and makeup looked great.

She was normal.  

I wanted to be like Patty.

Before Christmas this past year a classmate of Isa’s was diagnosed with Type 1.  Up until that moment Isa had been the only child in her school with diabetes.  I didn’t know the family of this newly diagnosed child and had heard they would be moving and leaving the school over the holidays.  The day before the holiday break I went to the school to pick up the kids and, almost as if it was meant to be, the little boy’s father was there picking him up.  I am a firm believer in fate, and this was it.  It was my turn to be Patty.

I passed our contact info on to the dad and encouraged him to reach out to Greg or I if he or his wife needed anything. I told him about our experience with the OmniPod pump and about the Children with Diabetes Friends for Life Conference we attended in Orlando. I told him we were just a year post diagnosis so we were still learning, too, but that we could certainly provide advice based on our short experience. I was sure I’d return home that day to an email from this family with a list of questions I could answer. 

I was wrong. I was obviously no Patty.

Today while chatting with Addison’s mommy and daddy I was reminded of how important it is for parents of T1D kids to connect. To share stories of what’s worked and what hasn’t.  To commiserate about those unexplained lows and to curse the technology that, in reality, is helping us keep our children alive. To beam with pride when our kids exhibit bravery we could never muster.

We all need a Patty to remind us that our lives as our kid’s substitute pancreas won’t be easy, but to keep in mind that our kids will take their cues from us. It’s up to us to assure them that their diabetes, though a part of who they are, doesn’t define them. It’s up to us to let them know that there is an Addison somewhere out there to hold their hand.

So, for those of you who are newly diagnosed, or those who have just gotten the courage to seek out some support, we are here. I may not be a Patty but I can assure you that my hair and makeup look great, too.

Cheers to Changing the World,
Kristina

 

What Faith Feels Like

faithFebruary 2010.

This was the last time we traveled anywhere together. No kids. No diabetes.

Fast forward to last week as we dropped the kids off at their aunt & uncle’s house and waved goodbye for 4 days.

Rewind just a bit to the two hours leading up to the drop off as we prepared bags for 3 toddlers…

“Do you have extra test strips in there?”

“The insulin in the kit won’t be enough for two pod changes…actually we should probably have enough for 3 just in case we have any pod failures. Oh, that means we should put a few extra pods in the bag.”

“Are there any alcohol wipes left in the pump kit?”

“I need to make the food list with carb counts…I’ll just send the pre-measured snack bin…that’ll be easier.”

Notice a trend? Not a single discussion about normal toddler essentials…pure “diabetes preparation panic” talk. No discussion about blankies or dolls, tooth brushes or diapers. Just straight “are we really sure we can put all of this responsibility on someone else?” talk.

But we did.

And you know what?

Aunt Shelly & Uncle Roy (and some Grandma Dar Dar thrown in!) rocked it.

We learned a big lesson this weekend about trust and faith. I’ve told people many times that when the nurse came in to our hospital room after Isabella’s diagnosis and said we could go home, I couldn’t believe it.  They were letting us LEAVE?!? I was terrified.  How would we possibly know what to do? How could they possibly believe we could manage this disease that we’d just met 4 days earlier? Did they not realize they were putting us in charge of our daughter’s LIFE?!?

A year and a half later I now know how they were able to let us leave that day: they had FAITH.

The first time your parents let you board that yellow bus…they had faith that the driver would get you to school safely.

As they handed over their car keys as you head out for your first solo drive…they had faith you wouldn’t believe the old “stop signs with a white outline mean ‘PAUSE’ myth”.

When your college roommate asked you to go to that party with her…she had faith you wouldn’t let her make bad decisions.

Stepping into your classroom as new teacher…your principal had faith you’d make a difference in your student’s lives.

Delivering your first child…you had faith in the doctor’s “Water Balloon Toss Champion – 1981” trophy displayed in his office.

I believe that parents are always nervous the first time they leave their child or children in someone else’s care.  The reality is that if we spend our lives worried about the “what ifs” with any of our children, we may never know what the “could’ve beens” might be. There exists so much uncertainty raising children, T1D or not, that it could very easily consume your every moment in life. We’ve chosen not to let it. We’ve chosen to trust and have faith that if we can learn how to manage Isabella’s diabetes, others can, too.

In fact, doesn’t it make sense to teach everyone in the canoe how to row? Let me know if you need a paddle. 🙂

Cheers to Changing the World~
Kristina

And Just Like That, Year Two Begins…

Not Cool Pancreas

She loved the t-shirt we made for her: Not Cool, Pancreas…Not Cool. 🙂

A year ago today we sat in Isabella’s room at the Hospital ABC in Mexico City on DAY 2 of her life with T1D.  Today we began YEAR 2.

Yesterday was amazing…Isabella’s journey was celebrated not only here in Ohio, but also in Texas and Florida. Though we have so much to be thankful for, I have to admit I am looking forward to the day we can celebrate a cure for this disease.

Over the past 24 hours we’ve received some very generous donations from friends, family, and strangers to support our team in the upcoming JDRF Northeast Ohio Walk to Cure Diabetes.  Words can’t begin to express our gratitude to everyone who has joined us on our journey to a cure for type 1 diabetes…we are truly blessed.  A year ago we would never have imagined all that we would experience and accomplish since Isabella’s diagnosis:

-We’ve met some amazing people who also have T1D in their lives;

-Become deeply involved with JDRF (including Greg’s board appointment to the Northeast Ohio chapter);

-Visited the DRI (Diabetes Research Institute) where we met with diabetes researchers;

-Reached nearly 600 Facebook followers and the same number of Twitter followers;

-Led teams participating in JDRF walks in Ohio and the FIND walk in Mexico City;

-Attended the JDRF Hope Gala in Miami;

-Created partnerships to raise funds (including jewelry, t-shirts, hair bows, and ornaments);

-Partnered with amazing businesses to host successful fundraising events;

-Won 2nd prize in a diabetes awareness photo contest sponsored by the JDCA;

-Attended a Children with Diabetes Conference at Disney;

-Been profiled in various online and print publications;

-Launched this website (yay!);

-Raised nearly $14,000 and counting towards diabetes research…

And we’re not done yet 🙂

As promised, here are some photos commemorating Isabella’s 1-Year Diaversary yesterday!

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Waiting to greet her party guests!

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Family and Friends Celebrating Isabella’s Diaversary in Ohio

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Blue (sugar-free!) cupcakes!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

balloons1

Isabella’s aunt and cousins organized a balloon launch in Florida to celebrate with us!

Oma Opa Blue Day

Isabella’s Oma, Opa, and cousin supporting her Diaversary in blue all the way from Texas!

maeve balloon launchballoon launch2 balloon launch1 balloon launch