What Faith Feels Like

faithFebruary 2010.

This was the last time we traveled anywhere together. No kids. No diabetes.

Fast forward to last week as we dropped the kids off at their aunt & uncle’s house and waved goodbye for 4 days.

Rewind just a bit to the two hours leading up to the drop off as we prepared bags for 3 toddlers…

“Do you have extra test strips in there?”

“The insulin in the kit won’t be enough for two pod changes…actually we should probably have enough for 3 just in case we have any pod failures. Oh, that means we should put a few extra pods in the bag.”

“Are there any alcohol wipes left in the pump kit?”

“I need to make the food list with carb counts…I’ll just send the pre-measured snack bin…that’ll be easier.”

Notice a trend? Not a single discussion about normal toddler essentials…pure “diabetes preparation panic” talk. No discussion about blankies or dolls, tooth brushes or diapers. Just straight “are we really sure we can put all of this responsibility on someone else?” talk.

But we did.

And you know what?

Aunt Shelly & Uncle Roy (and some Grandma Dar Dar thrown in!) rocked it.

We learned a big lesson this weekend about trust and faith. I’ve told people many times that when the nurse came in to our hospital room after Isabella’s diagnosis and said we could go home, I couldn’t believe it.  They were letting us LEAVE?!? I was terrified.  How would we possibly know what to do? How could they possibly believe we could manage this disease that we’d just met 4 days earlier? Did they not realize they were putting us in charge of our daughter’s LIFE?!?

A year and a half later I now know how they were able to let us leave that day: they had FAITH.

The first time your parents let you board that yellow bus…they had faith that the driver would get you to school safely.

As they handed over their car keys as you head out for your first solo drive…they had faith you wouldn’t believe the old “stop signs with a white outline mean ‘PAUSE’ myth”.

When your college roommate asked you to go to that party with her…she had faith you wouldn’t let her make bad decisions.

Stepping into your classroom as new teacher…your principal had faith you’d make a difference in your student’s lives.

Delivering your first child…you had faith in the doctor’s “Water Balloon Toss Champion – 1981” trophy displayed in his office.

I believe that parents are always nervous the first time they leave their child or children in someone else’s care.  The reality is that if we spend our lives worried about the “what ifs” with any of our children, we may never know what the “could’ve beens” might be. There exists so much uncertainty raising children, T1D or not, that it could very easily consume your every moment in life. We’ve chosen not to let it. We’ve chosen to trust and have faith that if we can learn how to manage Isabella’s diabetes, others can, too.

In fact, doesn’t it make sense to teach everyone in the canoe how to row? Let me know if you need a paddle. 🙂

Cheers to Changing the World~
Kristina